Increasingly, New Zealanders in their 30s to 50s are finding themselves in the sandwich generation – supporting both their children and ageing parents at the same time. It’s a role that demands responsibility, resilience and real-life problem-solving. While it can be rewarding, it also brings emotional, financial and practical pressures that can sometimes feel overwhelming.

What can you do to cope and keep your life on track?

Plan financially

• Have an open conversation with your family about money, expectations and future plans
• Talk to a financial adviser. They can help take the emotion out of tough decisions and guide you through budgeting and long-term planning.
• Explore government or community support options such as subsidies, benefits, or grants for caregivers.
• Set up an emergency fund to cushion against unexpected costs.

Share the load

• Involve siblings or extended family in caregiving and decision-making as even small contributions can make a big difference.
• Rotate responsibilities to avoid burnout and ensure everyone has time to recharge.
• Use technology like shared calendars or group chats to coordinate care and communication.
• Outsource tasks such as cleaning, transport, or caregiving if your budget allows.
• Make time for yourself, your wellbeing matters just as much as everyone else’s.

Seek support

• Connect with others in similar situations through local or online support groups.
• Talk to your employer about flexible work arrangements or caregiver leave policies.
• Access mental health services – counselling or therapy can help you manage stress and build resilience.
• Don’t hesitate to ask for help from friends, neighbours, or professionals. You’re not alone.

Open communication

• Talk to your children about what’s going on in a way they can understand to help them feel informed but not overwhelmed.
• Make it easy for your parents to share how they’re feeling and do the same in return.
• Hold regular family meetings to discuss needs, concerns, and plans.
• Encourage independence in both children and parents where possible, it lightens your load and empowers them.

This information is of a general nature and is not intended as personalised financial advice. RIVAL Wealth is a Financial Advice Provider (FAP) licenced by the Financial Markets Authority to provide financial advice. Our disclosure document is located at rivalwealth.co.nz or a written copy is available on request